As a newly anointed Dad, and a confused one at best, I realized quickly that turning to the web as a man for advice on how to grapple with all of these questions and changes was futile at best.
Where were all the Dad blogs?
The directions/advice for Dad’s on how to handle a mom that’s 8 month’s pregnant? A newborn that has gas? The right type of “stuff” that you need in your hospital bag? And what to expect when you’re wife is in the operating room, giving birth to your child?
I’m experiencing the ups and downs of fatherhood hourly now, and wanted to share the experience with other Dads – at the minimum, my family from around the world can peek in here and see some fun pictures of the new addition.
I returned to work for about 6 weeks before we were all locked down due to the novel Corona Virus (COVID-19, C19).
Before C19, life on the weekends was intimidating because we had the kids without a school or nanny. Our new world since March 17 was one where we balanced 2 careers, one 1 year old, and a Kindergartner at the same time.
I think adults were slow to adapt…kids were more flexible. And bless them for handling our mismanagement of everything. He took the virtual schooling well, and it continues to this day as he’s in 100% virtual schooling for first grade.
We did have fun though between calls and school, so just a few pictures to capture the glass-half-full of C19…
The minute I got back to work, my blogging productivity went to heck.
So we celebrated Christmas and her birthday all within two weeks of each other…this will get expensive when she gets older for sure. It’s remarkable how as each month passes her personality (rather demand personality) continues to emerge.
And that’s where that post ended.
Covid happened and everything upended. Will update later!
I’m more than half way through and dreading the days before I head back to work. She has grown so much since I’ve been home, and cataloging the days and pictures makes me sad because I’ll be missing her growth when behind the desk.
We spent the weekend organizing and sorting toys, so she helped of course, while her fearless super hero brother sorted out the giveaway pile.
I’m on the fence on giving kids money for chores and upkeep of their own things. Allowances are equally dubious in my book-money management comes from earning it, not doing things around the house you should be doing anyhow. Unsure, but the oldest gets it and is very good about helping with cleaning and organizing after some coaxing.
Football season is in full swing and the kids are patient with me watching Saturday Michigan games and Sunday NFL Live (since bronocs have not given me a reason in years to pay Direct TV).
This also means hair is growing longer and we are getting creative with the new found experience of putting bows in everything….
I write about week 6 almost in the middle of week 7. And I get sad about the countdown…as a Dad, I probably won’t ever feel what a Mom feels, but I can understand emotionally the tug that mother’s feel when they go back. It ain’t easy…
And I can’t believe I’m almost at the mid point for my leave….
Diwali came and left quickly. We had a small gathering for her with just close family and friends, and she was of course the star!
Food was perfect, and we enjoyed it the week after too since Chand Palace always gives so much. She’s started solids now and really doesn’t shy away from anything…above she is having Mac and cheese, but she has had Indian chickpeas with rice, home made pizza, etc. We’ve been more aware of food with her in terms of GMO/Organoc vs not. Labels are better now than when the oldest was pioneering his diet with us (this is what I tell myself!)
Blessed as always that my grandmother was able to come, and to see her spend time with both of them is always touching and timeless,
We had our first parent teacher conference the following week, and also had our first “teacher conference week”, which meant we had to entertain him for 4 straight days. Not easy when the temps were dropping g outside, but we got semi creative taking him to Manhattan (while I picked up from Diwali present), and after realizing we needed tickets to a slime exhibit, drove across to Queens to enjoy the Art of Brick exhibit at the Annals of Science,
We left the little on behind since she was fussy and tired from teething, and got to spend some old school 2:1 time with him. Watching his nasent skills blossom is so fun…he’s so method and rule driven. But also likes to have goofy fun, it’s such a tug of war with him (internally).
I enjoyed shooting the exhibit too, Leica and natural lighting always lend to above shots that pop out at you. My manual focusing can improve both in speed and focus but I like starting over in my 40s…
This was a quick week, we managed to relax for a day in NYC and reset our parental clock. Was exciting to see the Vessel from up top..
She has been out of sorts the past few days, with a small cold and just mildly fussy. But she always smiles and tries to be happy. It’s funny how kids are just programmed from the outset.
She is watching her brother hit some tennis balls against the garage with my Dad who is here for her first Diwali in the above pic. We spent the past two days cleaning and prepping, hoping for a healthy new year for these two. Never a moment I don’t thank the universe for giving me them to us…
My time with my second little one finally arrived, after a long and winding year at work.
She’s not a colicky baby, and took to sleep training well using a Snoo (highly recommended). My job was transitioning her out of her Snoo and into her crib full time (she was doing nights already thanks to Mommy’s hardwork!)
True to form (both above pics were taken the first few days at home), she adjusted well to the crib and by week 2 it was easy sailing.
I’m deeply disappointed that more Dads don’t take paternity leaves, and that more companies don’t give them. I have 9 weeks planned and hope to do weekly updates since I finally have time back…these days have flown by, here are a few precious moments that are too ephemeral…
Father’s day weekend was full of fun and surprises, with a ton of cakes and too many roadtrips!
The Friday before Aarya graduated from pre K.
It was an emotional day for me to see him wrap up a chapter at his Montessori School, but I’m happy to not pay a monthly tuition fee! He is reading well, doing addition, struggling a little with subtraction and is generally a well mannered boy. I’m so proud of what he’s become! To have my grandmother there to see the ceremony was a priceless, once-in-life-time moment…she has seen all of my graduations and now his!
Arguably being attentive is key to building a secure relationship. And it’s true. I think we did it a bit much with our previous one after 12 months, which is when you’re supposed to not respond to ever queue.
I forgot this. I also temporaroly forgot how to do a swaddle. It’s annoying forgetting this stuff…but relearning Kindles the love and passion from before.
I mean look at those cheeks…worth the trip down memory lane!