Ah the magic of forgetting

Having space between having children is sometimes a luxury, blessing, and curse combined.

Take for instance this article I’m reading about not being able to spoil your child in their 4th trimester: https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/build-a-strong-early-bond-with-your-baby

Arguably being attentive is key to building a secure relationship. And it’s true. I think we did it a bit much with our previous one after 12 months, which is when you’re supposed to not respond to ever queue.

I forgot this. I also temporaroly forgot how to do a swaddle. It’s annoying forgetting this stuff…but relearning Kindles the love and passion from before.

I mean look at those cheeks…worth the trip down memory lane!

Welcome to the World!

Our daughter was born on 1/15/19, early morning and well over due.

I started this blog as a guide for Dads on how to manage a newborn, and I’m here faced with a unique set of circumstances 4.5 years later.

There is no one way or easy way to handle a new born because they each come with mixed baggage. One can only anticipate and modulate.

Things are very different with her, from her sleeping and eating patterns 1 day into life, to how she keeps her head turned to the right most of the time.

So far she’s sleeping deeper and longer than my previous experience, but it’s only been 24 hours.

To have those feelings of a new baby, the tingle and twitch for a new being in our family, to see her brother embrace her so openly and lovingly reinforces how amazing life is. I’m in awe.

Holidays 2018

It’s 100% tradition now that we get the kids together, as many as possible, to make gingerbread homes, eat junk food, tons of deserts, and play at their Uncle Chirag and Aunt Kristin’s house. This year I acquiesced and let them sit in whatever order they may desire, but it’s remarkable how much they’ve grown from the first christmas together when 4 boys (4!!!) were born within 4 months of each other (the four boys in the front row of the picture).

I look back at this holiday season, which really starts at Diwali for us, and cherish the moments we had together with family. My Dad was up here, and my son was over the moon excited about being able to play tennis and goof around with him. Since we were there over the summer for 4 days, he’s developed a set of activities with not only my Dad, but with every grandparent. He’s so lucky to have them all here to enjoy him – I was lucky to have one grandparent living with my family growing up.

I’m glad that we can sit together and enjoy these few weeks together before the chaos and new chapters that 2019 has in store for us begins!

(it also gives me a chance to process pictures and post on my blog, lol!)

How is it December already?

The first snow fall came just before Thanksgiving, and it’s 50 degrees out right now. An entire year worth of posts has flown by and we’ve been busy raising and playing with our growing little man.

I’ve decided to go purely mobile now with my posts because I simply don’t have the time to download images from my D4 (RIP) and process and upload them to here.

This past month we’ve seen an explosion in his ability to communicate and interface with us using logic. It’s both amusing and bemusing because you never really know what to expect, and his adult like quips that get thrown back at us are disarming and fun at the same time. All these years of being silent and observing have led to a floodgate opening, and he talks non stop now.

Our trip to Miami was more engaging this time because he recalled the last one (crazy since that was 2 years ago), and he had more concrete requests linked to that last trip: let’s play on the beach, build sand castles, swim in the pool and practice jumps.

I’m astounded with his communication and logical reasoning, and I feel like we did nothing as parents but speak to him normally and engage and casual logic when reasoning his needs.

This is a crazy holiday season for us because we decided to renovate and tear up our entire kitchen and laundry room area. The things you do to stay entertained as adults 🙄🎄.

The longer I wait to post, the longer I go without a Post – Happy 2018, and here’s what happened in 2017

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I think I may have gone nearly a year since I last posted, so i’m starting from the recent and going backwards. My son is nearly 3.5, and each month has become easier and more difficult at the same time.

Things like him being potty trained, semi sleep trained, and being able to communicate his needs are great. But then there’s the whole issue of his personality developing and getting in the way.

I’m unsure if it’s been consistent parenting or dumb luck, but he’s a pretty descent person. He’s obedient, punctual, follows the rules, and respects authority. He is shy at first, but as you can see from up above, it took all of 20 seconds for him to buddy up with Santa and give his full list.

Even though I had two weeks off, it wasn’t  long enough. He had so much fun with family, and we even managed to sneak in a trip to Orlando.

Diwali was different because we went to Stamford this year, but had a great time with fireworks and lighting Diyas (as usual), and managed to even do an in class project on making Diyas during the day!

We managed to connect with a great photographer (Budding Rose Photography), and did a Fall photo shoot since this little monkey is growing way too fast!

Summer wasn’t as busy as the previous year, and we only got away for a week to Newport to just decompress. It was absolutely the summer of the bikes, since he got one for his birthday, and mom and dad clearly had to follow example. I’ve never spent so much time outside, which was awesome!

He’s finally at an age that we’re getting him into sports and other extracurriculars, and so the Winter of 2018 will slowly melt away with us on the sidelines at the pool and soccer practice.

Toddler Summers

I never thought I’d fall in love with Summer again.

Memories of walking to swim practice, weekend swim meets, reading books from the library as I lazily watch the summer showers beat down on my aunt’s house in Potomac, evenings with fireflies and locusts buzzing dissolved slowly as I progressed from college to grad school to “adult” life.

And here I am with my Son, reliving and enjoying new memories with him as a fully mobile, loud-mouthed, opinionated toddler with a lot to say and no rationale or logic to back it up.

And the melt downs, oh my, so fun. I wish I could stop laughing publicly at him, or even in private, but the melt downs are kind of too much fun.

So there are two camps in managing the tantrums – you can either cater to them or ignore them. I’ve created the third camp, laugh at them. It’ll probably screw him up, but that’s what parenting is for, no?

So far, the adventures have been a week in Newport for a Peruvian-Hindu wedding, and a Sunday at the zoo for Father’s day; weekends in between are all about the beach, the pool, and eating ice cream real late!

Valentine’s Day 2016

I’ve realized that I’ve become a “survival” parent rather than the thriving parent I thought I would be (or that my wife and I could be).

This may be a mixed post on self-reflection and/or a critique on our society.

Having our son in daycare has really opened my eyes to what other parents get their children involved in on a day to day basis – some parents, for instance brought in little Valentine’s Day cards (that they clearly wrote on behalf of their toddlers), while some brought in nut-free food for kids to enjoy/share.

Since we’re still in the throws of crib-training (after a 6 month break), we barely have enough energy to get up, get him ready for school, and physically get to work in the mornings. I started wondering though, when my wife showed me the Valentine’s day card, how my mom would help me do those when I was in elementary school (so clearly I was much older), and immediately felt like one of those “burn out” parents. Then I quickly jumped to explaining it away, citing potential reasons for “their ability” over “our ability” to do these superlatives (maybe the husband or wife are stay-at-homes, maybe one of them works part-time, maybe one of them xxxxxxx).

It’s a nasty habit to get into, comparing yourselves to others, but all of us do it, since it’s only human to be comparative. This inherent “peer pressure” starts early, as early as day care, as I learned, since my son is capable of drinking out of cups, feeding himself (probably not as much as we’d stuff him), engaging in social behavior, etc. due to other peers conducting their business as such. It’s herd mentality – if everyone else is doing it, I should too!

I’m not an anthropologist, and am the farthest thing from being an expert on psychology, but I know when I’m being absurd, and realized as much when I was getting defensive with  myself and how adequate of a parent I am – I’ve just come to accept that my son well have to understand that his Mom and Dad will probably never bake cupcakes for his classroom, but we’ll buy vegan ones for his class mates; we’ll probably never do hand written cards, but could potentially order them online in time for his class. What we are good at doing is making sure he gets to school semi-on time 🙂

It was amazing to see how times have changed over the year…here’s a little before and action fun!