Nothing captures the essence of fall better than a fall photo shoot – something I’ve been consistently doing (even during COVID) since the oldest one was 2 or 3.

It’s nice to pause and reflect on the year as the winter slowly creeps in, and unironically I have found myself with more time this fall after being part of a corporate down-sizing at my last company. I have what feels like an unlimited amount of time with the kids, and it’s both a blessing and a curse for all of us. With this additional time the work around the house I’ve been delaying is finally getting done – even things like pulling up pictures and doing albums! I’m learning new skills like outdoor landscape lighting and other handy HVAC things like repairing our ever fickle Ecobee thermostats.

But a sense of unease envelops the family, both on a structural and emotional level. Structurally, the patriarchy of a man always working is tough to reconcile for not only me but the children. Having an omnipresent father is a novel idea, and clearly all societies and cultures do not accommodate for it. Recognizing that I am seeking employment while the children are heavily exposed to daily if not hourly interventions is just an odd space for me to be in. Emotionally, they have grown accustomed to my presence and an evolution in my attitude. Being present as a parent is extremely difficult in corporate America these days – add the omnipresent screens/devices, and children are often competing for their parents’ attention, rather than organically receiving it. I have noticed I’m more patient with them, likely because my patience is not worn thin for a daily grind of some sort. It has made me reflect on how parents really need to “shelf” their work and engage when they are done for the day.

As I explore this extended vacation, or mini-early-retirement, I’m hoping to evolve my relationship with the kids and make memories I wouldn’t have been able to make before. Possibly travel, or possibly just manage the extended flu – cold – RSV season.

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